Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
- Dylan Thomas
She awakens at half past four every day. It’s a feat she tried her whole life to achieve. Finally, she caught the habit. Under the dim light of the bathroom, she braved the cool water as she moistened her face and head, arms and feet, ready for an intimate, quiet moment with her Lord.
There’s peace in the stillness of the early morning. The sky is a special kind of dark. Not pitch black, but rather in a darker shade of grey. There’s residual stillness from the night, fading and making way for more activity as creatures begin another day of their life.
In prostration, she muttered softly in her prayers. There are too many things to ask for, but she never stopped asking. Her heart feels whole again. Like a nervous traveller, she is preparing for the final destination, yet at the same time battles the fear of uncertainties along the road. Her daily quiet conversations with God seemed to help her feel at ease, at least until the next bout of worry caught up with her.
A few hours passed by. The gentle sun ray began to peek through the blinds. She thought it was fully pulled last night. Alas, with her weak hands, she failed to finish the pull.
The world has changed tremendously. In her 20’s, she felt like Earth was already so elderly. Still, the Lord and his grand plan always work in mysterious, unfathomable ways.
A new day begins, and she is a day older. Although, the routine remains the same. She carefully moved to the kitchen, preparing her favourite meal ever since she was younger. Breakfast is still for two, for her partner for life is still around, the companionship that she treasures and is adamant not to take for granted.
There’s a little space of greenery over the kitchen window. A quaint vegetable patch filled with a mixture of healthy and struggling vegetables and herbs. Their eyes gazed as they sat down for breakfast, telling each other how grateful it was to be alive another day and be with each other.
Ageing has been something of wonder for her. Too many questions came to mind, fuelled by her sense of curiosity. Is it true that despite the frailing body, the soul remains the same? That little girl with a blue polka dot gown, running around with her doll in a spacious backyard with a pond — is that vigour of a soul still there?
Much is unknown, but it’s easy to let the mind wander. It’s even trickier not to be consumed with the worry of the future and slip into forgetting to enjoy the present. She doesn’t know when she’ll reach her destination. But for as long as she can remember, she has chosen to make the best of the view along the road.
